Monday, April 26, 2010

"Revision Plan"

Dear Professor Mc.Cormick,

I was dissatisfied with the grade that I received on my essay. I really thought that I would've gotten a better grade. As I'm reading your notes on my paper I see several points that I did not include in my essay. I know next time I will definitely have a work cited page on where I found my evidence from. I will also try my best to organize my essay better as far as the dates I'm using and also time, I can see how a reader might get confused reading my essay. Lastly, I want to say that I will make my sentences simple as possible, so that they can make sense to the reader. Adding to much to one sentence might make it hard to understand or just not make sense at all. In the last part of my essay you say I contradicted myself, that wasn't my intention. I just wanted to point out that saccharin was still being used by diabetics, but still feel that it can be dangerous to someones health. Now I know that I need to step my game up and work harder on the next paper, so my next grade will definitely improve.

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